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  My eyes must have been wide with intrigue and curiosity, maybe even in awe of this regal woman. She spoke like royalty, floating there in front of us like an ethereal queen.

  “You should wear a crown,” I blurted stupidly, but they both laughed.

  “What’s this about a crown for my queen?” A man said approaching from behind Ris and Law.

  She jumped at the sound of his voice as the man wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him. She smiled broadly, turning her head to look back at him.

  “Blue suggested I wear one,” Ris said to the man, “I think she may be onto something.”

  “Perhaps she is,” he released her with one arm to reach forward around her, extending his hand to me politely, “Asher. Pleasure to meet you.”

  I shook his hand, offering my new name, “Blue.”

  His hand left mine, finding its way back to Christine’s waist. I was feeling slightly awkward at being privy to the intimacy these two shared right in front of me, though I supposed I’d better get used to it in a hurry, as I was sure to see greater intimacy than that soon. My heart beat a little faster.

  My eyes were drawn to Law. He smiled at them politely, but his features were tinged with longing, his eyes chasing after the feeling Ris and Asher expressed so physically. I felt sad for him in that moment, sensing he was looking for that kind of intimacy in his life. His friends had it. Vaughn and I, well, we used to have it.

  Vaughn.

  As Vaughn came to mind I felt Law's eyes on me. It was as if there was a sudden shift that pulled our shared heartache together like magnets, drawing our attention to one another. At the same moment in time, we went from happy observers to like-minded seekers of intimacy in mutual despair. His eyes lingered a beat past uncomfortable before he turned to them again and spoke.

  “Asher, can we speak privately for a moment?

  “Sure,” Asher kissed Ris on the cheek and stepped away with Law.

  Ris and I sat and chatted for a few minutes at the bar before they came back over. I found out that she was an attorney, a public defender, to be specific. I couldn’t get her to share any specifics about her history with Law, as I suspected there was a good story there, but she did tell me he was a dominant and a sadist. The latter scared me a bit, to be honest, because I didn’t really understand what that meant.

  The submissive he’d previously had a relationship with recently ended things because she wanted to move on and start a family, which was something he claimed he had no interest in. Ris told me she worried about him because, in her words, “He’s not getting any younger,” and it’s getting harder for him to find a woman that can give him what he needs.

  I asked her how old he was and I was surprised when she told me he was 32, a year younger than her. I was shocked to realize that these beautiful people who engaged in such magnificently sinful activities were a decade my senior. All at once it made me feel young, naïve, protected, vulnerable, and proud that I could hold my own with this crowd.

  Asher appeared suddenly beside Christine. He took her wrist in his right hand and tugged, pulling her up from her seat and spinning her around to face him. His left hand came up, sliding upward from her collar bone to rest lightly against her throat in a possessive move.

  “Angel,” he said, and her attention was solely on him.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “I’d like you to submit to both me and Law tonight. Do you consent?”

  “Yes, Sir,” she said without a hint of hesitation.

  “You’ll do as he asks without question, just like you do for me, right, Angel? He wants to give you pain. If you’re a good girl, I’ll reward you when we’re finished with you. Do you understand?”

  Her face was bright and her eyes were suddenly lustful, “Yes, Sir, thank you, Sir.”

  I knew Law was standing behind me, watching me during this exchange, but I didn’t care to return the look. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from these two ridiculously gorgeous people. Asher had some power over Ris that was mesmerizing, and though I wasn’t entirely sure of what I was witnessing in this exchange, it was clearly and overtly sexual.

  Law spoke from behind me, his voice a little too soft, a little too sensual.

  “Are you ready, Blue?”

  It only took me a beat to mentally prepare myself to walk into this new world, knowing full well I was about to witness some insane form of debauchery.

  I wasn’t shy about sex. I knew people did all kinds of things in the privacy of their own homes. I had just never concerned myself with anything beyond the ordinary. It wasn’t because I was boring or a prude, it was just that I never needed to know anything more.

  Physical sensation had always been heightened for me, ever since I was young. I was always seeking more movement, more touch, more ways to expend the tingling energy radiating from my skin. Climaxing had always come easily for me before and I wasn’t a stranger to multiple orgasms.

  Though, that was all before.

  Suddenly I became the woman who denied her husband sex and it felt wrong. Vaughn and I had sex twice in the past three months. I knew it was pitiful and it was all because of me. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other before, but then everything changed.

  The first time after giving birth was painful. The second was just uncomfortable at first, but it wasn’t like it used to be. It became work for me where there wasn’t work before. I got stuck in my head, feeling so much shame engaging in the act that had created Lucy so soon after losing her. I came that second time we were intimate, but immediately felt remorse, as if feeling good were something I no longer deserved. I knew that wasn’t rational, but the feeling was there nonetheless. I couldn’t bring myself to have sex with him after that.

  I felt for Vaughn, I really did. He was a powerhouse of excessive sexual energy and I’d taken away his only outlet.

  Shittiest Wife of the Year Award goes to me.

  Perhaps witnessing these people indulge in a little depravity would be the jumpstart I needed to find my way back to sexual joy. Maybe I could learn something. Maybe tonight would recharge me and help me find my lost desire for physical intimacy with Vaughn. I was ready to see what Law had to show me.

  I quickly scribbled my signature on the final form, then stood, spinning to face him, “I’m ready.”

  He held out his arm for me to take, a look of heady anticipation in his blue eyes.

  “Shall we?”

  I slipped my arm through his, my hip grazing his side as we fell into stride and walked toward the doors marked for Members Only.

  Chapter 8

  Desi

  The four of us checked in with the bouncer before entering the members only area. Just beyond the wooden double doors, which mirrored the Black Ties entrance, there was a short hallway. It was dark but illuminated dimly. In two short strides, we met the landing of a split stairwell. The staircase that led up to our left was roped off with a sign that indicated Staff Only.

  We turned the corner to take the staircase that led us downstairs. It was just twelve wooden steps that aided my descent into a whole new world that would forever change my life.

  I expected to enter a dungeon of chaos, naked people dancing around and fucking each other. But that wasn’t it at all. At first glance, we’d descended into a posh nightclub. The stairwell opened to a large, dance floor of sleek, ebony hardwood floors. It was early and it wasn’t crowded, but there were normal looking people dancing in a usual way. It wasn’t at all the scene of debauchery I expected.

  There was a DJ in the far corner playing rhythmic music with a decent beat. The music was loud enough to sound good, but it wasn’t thumping in my head. I could easily hold a conversation with someone without having to shout too loudly over it.

  On the opposite side of the large room was a plush, leather seating area. The furniture there was sleek, black leather couches and armchairs and oversized ottomans. They were empty except for a single man and woman who were making out rather vor
aciously. Behind that were some booths that were sectioned off, offering some tiny semblance of privacy for the people sitting there. It reminded me of a high-end style of office cubicles.

  “This is the Party Room,” Law interrupted my observations.

  “Appropriately named, well done,” I noted, and he smiled down at me by his side, “Not at all what I expected to see here.”

  “It’s still early. But we’re all just people here, Blue. You’ve just been conditioned by society to think that sex is a private, taboo experience that shouldn’t be shared.”

  “I take it you disagree?” I said jokingly, knowing the answer before I asked it.

  “Funny,” he replied, and I could see the corner of his lips turn up, though he didn’t turn to look at me.

  Law stopped and released me, turning to face Ris and Asher behind us. They were being playfully adorable, whispering and giggling to one another as Asher guided her forward with his hand on her ass. She nearly ran into Law when he turned, completely distracted by her man.

  Vaughn.

  Why don’t we do that anymore? Why don’t we flirt and touch and play like that?

  “Ris, your call,” Law said, “Do you want to hang out here for a while or get right down to business?”

  “I believe that’s your call, Sir.”

  He took a single step forward, moving into her personal space, and grabbed her wrist. He yanked her forward, away from Asher, and pulled her against his chest. The way he did it, exerting such power and dominance, made my heart skip a beat. His lips aligned with her ear and he whispered something I couldn’t hear. I watched her body soften and she leaned into him before he released her and then she took a step back. Ris nodded and strode away, taking off toward a dark hallway behind the seating area and cubicles.

  “I hope you don’t mind, Blue,” Law told me with a devilish grin, “We’re going to skip this party tonight in favor of our own private party.”

  “Oh,” I let out a breath, and when I inhaled, the anticipation of indulgence filled my senses with exhilaration, “Let’s do this.”

  Law’s hand found the small of my back and I felt his masculine energy shoot through me. I understood how his touch made Ris melt into him the way she had.

  Careful, Desi.

  He led me across the room, following where Ris had gone down the hallway. Doorways lined the dark hall on either side as we strode forward, but they didn’t have doors. Instead, black, velvet ropes hung open from the side of each entryway. At the end of the hall with deep purple painted walls was an exit sign illuminated over an emergency exit.

  I pointed at it, “Convenient escape route for me when you show me what’s in these rooms and scare me off?"

  I had a bad habit of saying really fucking stupid things when I was nervous, but Law already picked up on that. He was onto me.

  Suddenly, his arm slipped from the small of my back, wrapping around my waist and pulling me tight against his side as he stopped in front of a doorway, “Does being here scare you, Blue, or excite you?”

  I wanted to melt against him just like Ris had and that was a scary realization. That feeling was fleeting though, as his fingers curled around my stomach, reminding me that my belly should be swollen, and he shouldn’t be able to reach around me like that. The emotional pain threatened to grip me. The only way to get that thought out of my head was quick and immediate distance.

  I snapped away from his hold, side stepping out of his space. As soon as his hand was off me, I wanted it back and that made me feel disgusting. He looked at me, questioning, and I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to send a stay away sort of vibe. It was fake, and he knew it. Though as a true gentleman would, his eyes yielded rather than smoldered.

  Then he opened his mouth and ruined it.

  “I imagine I should apologize for being too forward, but I won’t. I’m a very physical person and sometimes I have a hard time keeping my hands to myself. That’s why we have safewords. I’m not used to asking in this world.”

  I rolled my eyes, “Oh, my God, did you know that your entitled white male privilege is showing? Better tuck that back in before somebody sees it.”

  He stiffened and I swear I saw his hand twitch at his side. He took a few deep breaths, then chuckled, some semblance of light returning to his smile, “Okay, fine. I’m being an ungracious asshole, for lack of a better term. I apologize. But only this once”

  “Fine.”

  “Will you please let me show you my world now? Before you call me on my bullshit again and shatter my internal image that every woman desperately wants me? I need you to be open-minded, Blue.”

  “Yes,” I conceded, because I needed to get out of my head fast, “Just, please, don’t touch me there again.”

  “Where?”

  “My stomach.”

  Law’s head tilted to the side and his brow furrowed in consideration before he seemed to understand, “Of course.”

  I nodded politely.

  He tilted his head toward the doorway beside us, “This way.”

  I stepped inside, followed by Asher and then Law. Ris was already inside kneeling in the far corner, as if she were a child someone had put in timeout. It was a little off-putting to see such a commanding woman in a submissive position, just waiting. It made me nervous in a way that caused goosebumps to rise on my skin.

  The room had an eerie, mysterious glow in the center that cloaked the four corners in shadows. In the center of the room was something that looked like a single sawhorse. There was a flat black table that sat toward the back and a giant wooden X rested along one of the side walls. The space was decorated in shades of black and purple, the color of royalty, just like the rest of Black Ties.

  Law drew the velvet rope across the doorway, securing it to a hook on the opposite side of the frame. He removed his blazer and hung it neatly on a hook affixed to the wall near the entry. He moved across the room and stood still a few feet behind Ris as Asher crouched down beside her. Asher leaned toward her and said something inaudible. He held her hand as she stood, helping to balance her as she rose to her feet in high heels. She spun around to face him and Asher grabbed her face and kissed her. I think I gasped out loud at the unexpected intensity of it. He kissed Ris until her lips were swollen and a beautiful pink hue shaded the skin around them.

  When Asher let her go, Law held up a finger and made a twirling motion with it, indicated toward Ris. She spun on the spot, facing away from him again.

  What the fuck is happening? I am so out of my element here.

  My instinct was to move away slowly, silently to the corner of the room. I pressed my back against the wall, seeking a safe space from the pulsing, dominant energy that had snapped into existence the moment we entered the space. My heart raced as I watched the events unfold.

  I literally felt like the fly on the wall.

  Law grabbed the zipper at the back of Christine’s dress, yanking it all the way down in one swift, aggressive motion.

  “Take off your dress, Angel. All fours and crawl to me.”

  Ris slipped her dress off her shoulders, letting it fall easily from her body. It glided to the floor in a soft heap of silver sequins. Underneath the light dress was dark lingerie. It was like watching a physical manifestation of her transition from good to bad, nice to naughty.

  Ris looked like a pin-up model. She had on a black strapless bra, that barely supported her full breasts, and they spilled out wickedly over the top. She wore a matching pair of simple black panties that didn’t even try to cover the cheeks of her to-die-for ass. A lace garter belt wrapped around her waist, highlighting her curvaceous hourglass figure. The fishnet thigh highs held up by the garter looked positively sinful against her curves and her black stilettos polished off the look. I felt like I was in the honored presence of the queen of the underworld. She held herself with such grace and confidence. It was alluring and I was mesmerized.

  She stepped out of the dress that circled her ankles and got down on her hands
and knees as Law turned and walked back to the center of the room. He pushed the sawhorse off toward the side wall before planting himself with a wide stance in its place. She crawled after him, as if it were a perfectly normal way to travel.

  When she arrived beneath him where he stood, she planted herself firmly, palms flat on the floor, her knees squarely underneath her hips, positioning herself so her back was arched and chin up. She was poised, dignified. Ris looked worthy of being worshipped, yet here she was on the floor awaiting the orders of a man. I shook my head trying to understand.

  She really needs a goddamn crown.

  I glanced over at Law and my heart dropped into my stomach to find that he was watching me. Law’s eyes were on me, not on the blonde goddess on her knees in front of him. It took me off guard, but he didn’t falter, holding connection with my gaze.

  I watched him as he loosened his tie ever so slightly and pulled at his cufflinks, rolling up each of his sleeves to his elbows with slow, precise care. The way he observed me while he did it was unnerving. My skin tingled as one corner of his lips turned up in a sneer. I wanted to lie to myself and say it had no effect on me. But the honest to goodness truth was that it made me devastatingly curious about this man and what he did alone with the women that he desired.

  I worried he could hear my thoughts as he looked at me imploringly, “Blue? Do you have any questions?”

  “No,” I said at first, starting to shake my head, but stopped when I realized there were so many answers I wanted, but no clue what questions to ask, “Yes?”

  “If you’re having second thoughts about being here, remember that you can leave any time."

  He said it with a tone that indicated he didn’t really want to say it, as if he didn’t want me to choose to leave.

  I was annoyed. The mere thought that he was reminding me of my own free will felt like an insult in the moment. I was always allowed to leave. He didn’t need to give me permission to choose to leave.

  His face softened as he read the look on my face, but I said the words to make sure it was clear.